Thomas and Helen Fault have been married for 15 years. The Thomas family is a model in their community. Since returning from her trip, Helen appears very troubled. She says very little to anyone. Thomas finally asks, “Baby, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” Helen starts crying and says, “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I made a mistake. The twins are not yours. I had an affair.” Helen weeps. Thomas stares and walks out of the house. He never returns.

Introduction

Are you feeling psychologically drained? Do you feel like getting even will make you feel better? It won’t! Each day someone gets emotionally hurt. Occasionally, the offender may not understand his/her actions. You can sometimes correct it by making this person aware of the problem. You get an apology, and the problem is fixed. However, how can you forgive someone who deliberately tries to harm you? Where do people find the strength to let “by-gones be by-gones?” Some feel it’s a weakness to forgive anyone. (It’s a lot easier to just get even.) Society doesn’t promote forgiveness because it’s a trait found in a religious environment rather than in a corporate boardroom. Many times it’s easier to forgive an enemy than a friend. The people closest to us have the power to destroy us.

Forgiveness

The concept of forgiveness is not a new term. One of the best examples of forgiveness is found in the story of King David. David, who was a young lad at the time, had been anointed by Samuel to be king while Saul was on the throne. King Saul was paranoid about losing his kingdom to anyone. David eventually commanded King Saul’s army. David became a national hero, and Saul was insanely jealous of him. King Saul tried several times to kill David but failed; he wanted to wreck David’s life. David, however, never sought any revenge. King Saul’s hatred for David was great, but David responded in love. He forgave him. David eventually became a great king. How can you find this strength to forgive? Here are a few suggestions to take:

• Acknowledge the pain of the situation.
• Try to separate the behavior from the person.
• Recognize it takes time to heal deep wounds.
• Seek to find others to share your feelings.
• Talk with the person and convey your feelings.
• Learn to love the person anyway.

Conclusion

Forgiving someone is not easy. Are you still swearing you will forgive but not forget? Does it make you feel better? It won’t! Many would call forgiveness a divine act because it’s not a popular human tendency. Someone throws a rock at you--you throw one back. It’s a natural reaction. Forgiveness represents the highest degree of unselfishness. Few have mastered this virtue. Forgiveness means looking beyond yourself and focusing on the greater good. Start today and gain more freedom!

© 2006 by Daryl D. Green