James is happily married with children. He has a great job. He’s a leader in his church. He’s a leader in his community. Life is wonderful, but James has a problem. His closet skeletons hold him captive and won’t leave him alone. Some people never allow him to forget his past deeds (they seem to conveniently overlook his good). James attempts to make everyone happy, but he can’t. James gets depressed. His tears start running down his face. Will James ever be accepted?

Holding Point

Are you in James’ situation? Do you have your skeletons in your closet? Is it holding you back from your happiness? Some people are so obsessed with the past deeds of others that they cannot allow them to live in the present. You can see this obsession in all walks of life. Just look around…you see it in the workplace. A manager won’t allow his employees to express their ideas because he can’t trust anyone. He doesn’t want to give up any control. What are the consequences of his action? No new ideas, low morale, and no real teamwork! Don’t think it’s only in the business community. You see it even in the religious world. A church, for example, continues to go through pastors like changing clothes. The church’s future is crippled by the past hurt of a previous pastor. What are the consequences of this action? The church becomes trapped in it’s own prison because it can never move forward while looking back.

The Capture

Why can’t people just let it go? Some use the past as a punishment tool while others use it to fuel their negativism. These people create a mystical measuring stick to judge folks. They stand unspotted, however, while looking at the dirt on others. Jesus understood that people tend to forget their own shortcomings. He said, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged…Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye.” Many people overlook their past when making judgments. It is a fatal human flaw. You should keep this in mind when people try and judge you from past circumstances. Don’t allow this to hinder you from achieving your goals. Here are some suggestions:

1. Learn to forgive yourself first.

2. Take control of your life.

3. Don’t let others hold you back.

4. Take responsibility.

5. Accept any consequences.

6. Surround yourself with positive people.

7. Accept that you can’t please everyone.

Final Freedom

Don’t allow the past to hurt your decision-making ability. Use the past as a reference source for a new life. Individuals make mistakes yet some people find it easy to find fault. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends & Influence People, said, “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” Accept negative remarks as one small blip in your positive life. Learn from past mistakes and share your experience. You could save others unnecessary grief. Don’t be a slave to your past. Move beyond your past and those closet skeletons. Start today!